How to Act Like a Writer in a Café When You’re Not

Dress in your best post-modern hipster clothes.

Bring your laptop to a coffee shop with free Wi-Fi. New, stylish computers work best.

While waiting to order, open web pages for things like Shakespeare and Isaac Newton, for your “research”.

Order your favorite drink, snack item and treat, and sit down, alone, at a table not close to too many people, but close enough for them to see you.

Keeping your “research” close at hand, do whatever you like doing on your computer (like, maybe, writing?). When anyone comes by, open your “research” pages, or type gibberish loudly to look like you’re writing.

Stay for a few hours, ordering more food and snacks every once and a while. When you leave, close the laptop with the pages still open, order some coffee to go, and leave after an exhausting day of “writing”.

Repeat ad nauseum. Who knows, maybe you will actually start writing!